Life Lately
As you know, I have an affinity for writing and sharing my life musings on this blog. While I may not be the most eloquent speaker, writing has always been one of my favorite forms of self-expression. I pride myself on my ability to be candid and honest in my writing. I created this blog with the intention to have an online space where I can truly be myself. To show not just the good parts of my life, but also the bad. The lows of life are equally as important as the highs. They are the reason why I am who I am. If life didn’t have its challenges, would we ever grow? In this post, I want to be open and honest about the past six months and what I have learned. It’s time to get vulnerable!
The start of this year was tougher than most. In January, my boyfriend and I broke up. Grieving the loss of this relationship was not easy. To cope, I distracted myself with work, went out with friends constantly, and neglected to take care of myself. My body was so strained and stressed that I succumbed to a feverish cold from overworking, lack of sleep, and general exhaustion. The fever knocked me out for a whole week, rendering me completely unable to work or carry out any of my commitments and responsibilities. Pretending to be okay was far more harmful than admitting that I was not.
Losing what we had was difficult to reconcile with. I didn’t just lose my best friend. I lost all of the dreams that came with him too. Suddenly, life became full of unknowns, and I was embarking on this confusing journey of life completely alone. But I guess this is how life goes. Though it may be hard to understand, explain, and rationalize, life often throws mysteries at us that remain unsolved. Despite this period of confusion, I recognized that this loss was a new opportunity for me. I had a blank canvas to paint new dreams on. Like every newly single girl, I got a new haircut, signed up for retreats, and booked flights to see the world. It was the start of a new beginning.
I’ll be honest. The transition to singlehood did not come with much ease. It certainly wasn’t solved by a simple haircut or a solo trip to Spain. In fact, for a long while, I felt very lost. Was it possible to find happiness elsewhere? Without the blanket of security that was our relationship? Though it took some time to get used to, I found a true freedom in singlehood. I started putting myself first and living life on my own terms. Now, I am chasing new dreams and cultivating a life that is rooted in pure joy, faith, and freedom.
God may have closed this door, but eventually, he will open up a new one. As I venture forward into the unknowns of this chapter of my life, I walk with a newfound confidence that I have never really had before. I trust that the Lord knows my heart and has big plans for it. So, like a faithful daughter, I am allowing him to pave the way for me. While I am in this odd period of waiting, I rest securely in the fact that I am loved and known by Him. If there is anything that I have learned from these past few years, it is this. God works in mysterious ways.
So yup. Singlehood has its ups and downs, and I am still trying to figure it all out. But I am hopeful for a bigger, better, and brighter future. Thank you, dear reader, for journeying along with me. Here’s to many more love letters to come.
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Emily
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