All In Good Timing
The most annoying thing about me is my overthinking mind’s desire to control things. You see, I like to plan. But Alex likes to remind me that the best plan is no plan. In fact, when I graduated from college, he gifted me a prayer card with the Serenity Prayer. In the grand scheme of things, there’s not much I really have control over. All I can do is listen to my heart and God’s call for me to fulfill my purpose. He will answer my prayers all in good timing.
When graduation season approached, I was scared out of my mind. Post-grad life is uncharted territory with no “right answer.” Leading up to graduation, I was stressed every day. While everyone assured me that my future was bright, I had a tough time coming to terms with all of the unknowns ahead. I had no job offers. What was I going to do? Everyone had high hopes for me. If I didn’t get something, would my four years of hard work and dedication amount to nothing? As the days got closer to commencement, I had little hope that I was going to get any of the jobs that I applied for. Feelings of insecurity and fear surfaced. It drove me to the brink of insanity. What was the plan?
It wasn’t until the day after my graduation that I got my first job offer. I was jumping for joy. It was a tech start-up located in Bressi Ranch. A wave of relief washed over me. I had something to cling onto and build my life around. But much to my surprise, this wouldn’t be the only job offer. Once I got my first, more offers started to roll in. Recruiters started flooding my inbox, asking if I would want to work for their company. Before I knew it, I was swimming in job offers, and I had the option to choose.
Needless to say, this experience became overwhelming. Amongst the slew of shiny corporate roles, I was offered a public health research job at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. It was different from the rest. This role embodied everything that I was passionate about — research, academia, and public health. I would be doing impactful work for black families and youth in Detroit. In this role, I had a clear mission and purpose. Additionally, I would have the opportunity to get direct mentorship from one of the best public health professors in the nation. This role would prepare me for the next big step — graduate school. It offered the perfect “gap year” that I was looking for.
However, the decision to pick a full-time job quickly became a stressful affair. It dawned upon me that I would need to relocate relatively soon for the job, and that was terrifying to me. Michigan? I have never stepped foot in the Midwest. How will I survive? So, I brought all of my worries to the chapel and prayed. I prayed for hours on end hoping that the Lord would give me an answer. I kept asking God, why did you give me this perfect job with so many conditions? And in response, he just said wait and see.
I grew restless. I hated that I could never get a straightforward answer in prayer. Even though my heart was telling me to take the job, I could not bear the idea of relocating so soon. There were so many things calling me to stay in San Diego. Everything I knew and love was here. My family. My friends. My community. Not to mention, I had just started dating Alex. My relationship with him was so good, and I feared that moving to Michigan in the fall would mess everything up.
In this period of great confusion and restlessness, Alex and I went to mass together. Sitting in the pews, we prayed for guidance on my future. I asked God to grant me more time at home and to give me the strength to make a final decision. After mass, I sent an email to the University to express my concerns with relocation. I decided to be transparent and let them know that I wasn’t ready to move so soon. Minutes later, I received a response.
“Hi Emily, Thank you for sharing your concerns about relocation. We do not expect you to move to Michigan until the later half of 2022 or early 2023.”
The Lord answered my prayer. It felt as though that email was delivered straight from heaven. I ran to Alex to tell him the good news. “Do you know what this means?” I exclaimed. “We get more time together.” A big grin stretched across his face. He picked me up and spun me around the living room.
“God is good, isn’t he?” I said. “Yea, he sure is.”
Since then, I have accepted the job offer from the University of Michigan. I followed my heart and chose the road less travelled. Everything is falling into place, and I have never been happier. I get to live close to my friends and family, explore my relationship, and do impactful work that excites me. Looking back, it seems silly that I stressed so much over finding the dream job and controlling my future. Everything worked itself out in good timing.
It is clear to me now that the Lord rewards patience. In time, good things will come. I often find myself doubting His goodness, but it has become clear to me that He is trustworthy. Even in a season of great unknowns and confusion, I am reminded of the solid foundation He offers me. When I fix my eyes upon Him, I am reminded of His plan for me. Goodness is all that lies ahead.
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Emily
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